Little Tony's great escape

A short mostly true story:
Mama was worried, she knew that sooner or later Little Tony would make a move. He had given her more than her fair share of sleepless nights and she had had enough pain but still she wanted him to be free. Tony’s dad ran a joint called Tony Ravioli’s, where friends could meet for a cold beer after work or on weekends and watch the fights and other sporting events. Programs like Oprah and the View were strictly taboo. Here, local friends could play pool or watch the games from the infamous “couch swing”, with a little side action not out of the question.  If little Tony was anything like his dad, everyone knew that once his mind was set on something, there was no stopping him that is what had him worried. Little Tony’s sister Emma was wondering when little Tony was going to get out but she had no idea of her younger brothers plans. Late one night around 2:00 AM Little Tony’s mom, Pamela had a feeling that he was going to make a break for it. This was serious, Big Tony got them into the Tahoe and raced to the scene, running red lights and speeding at 90 miles an hour. Big Tony jumped out or the car and started banging on the door trying to get the attention of the guard posted there. The doors were locked and the guard was in no hurry to answer, as he sauntered over, the elder Tony blasted him with every swear word in his voluminous vocabulary. But it was almost too late, As Big Tony dealt with the guard, Little Tony made his move, busting out and landing on the ground right between his mother’s legs, umbilical cord still attached. Big Tony thought that he was watching an episode of National Geographic. Once the doors were opened and help was dispatched mom and the baby were brought into the hospital and ushered to labor and delivery where a mid-wife and a Doula (no man worth his salt knows what that is) were waiting, but alas it was too late as Little Tony had already made his escape. Update: mom and the baby are doing fine and Alex, AKA Tony Ravioli and Pam have given us our latest grandchild; Anthony James Fitzmaurice.