Swimming upstream

Swimming upstream:
Mom told me when I was young that “I was born a rebel”. It was quite a long time ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday, as it struck me as funny. If there was anything that my mom drilled into my head, it was, not necessarily in this order, “don’t be a sheep, don’t be a follower, think for yourself, don’t let anyone else tell you what to think”, usually followed by “if everyone else was jumping off the Empire State building would you”? There were some notable exceptions to this philosophy which went something like, we are Catholic and we have faith, therefore we do not question the church, the pope (who incidentally is infallible) or even ask reasonable questions about some of the teachings of the church. Is it any surprise that she raised a rebel?
Somehow, even as a little boy I could not make those two puzzle pieces fit together. Honestly; how could they. My mom was very smart, and that fact made it even more difficult to comprehend how she could have such diametrically opposing philosophies. It isn’t like she would try to rationalize the inconsistency with some pseudo-intellectual justification; no, in her mind there was no questioning to be done. 
We could not speak of religion or the church for many years without it descending into ugly and uncomfortable territory. She would tell me to, “say a hail Mary or say a prayer” for this or that knowing that it wasn’t my way. Many years later I was able to explain to her that she was the one who taught me to question everything, but when I questioned “our” (meaning imposed) religion it was a subject I was not allowed to question. I think she finally understood. At the same time, I understood how her faith was a part of her and something that gave her strength and comfort. One should never try to take that away from someone you love.  When mom was lying on her death bed, unable to talk due to a stroke, and knowing that she had very little time left with us, she blessed me with the sign of the cross. I said, “I know mom” and left it at that. Her last act was to try to bless my soul on her way out, as she had unfinished business and no time on the clock. That is a mother’s love.
I hope that mom’s efforts were not in vain as even though I reject the church and pretty much everything that goes with it, she did instill in me a sense of right and wrong, fundamental ethics, tolerance, to a point, and never to pre-judge. She also taught me to fight for what I believe in and to stand up to those who do others wrong.
So, when I see some behavior or policy that is fundamentally misguided, intentionally wrong or just plain stupid, and everybody seems to be going along with it, or justifying it, or demanding I acquiesce, don’t expect me to follow. It is just my nature to swim upstream.